Good afternoon. Today is Wednesday, the 20th day of March. It's the 79th day of the year. We're not in a leap year, so there are 286 days remaining in 2019. On the Jewish calendar, today is the 13th day of AdarII in the year 5779. On this day in 1854, The Republican Party of the United States was organized in Ripon, Wisconsin.
This website is a demonstration of smart content rendering. The content updates continuously without the help of Internet monkeys. All the information was current at the time you arrived here. If you're looking for information on the technology, it's at the bottom of this page.
Today in History
At Sing Sing Prison on this day in 1899, Martha M. Place became the first woman to be executed in the electric chair. She was put to death for the murder of her stepdaughter. New York Governor Theodore Roosevelt was asked to commute Place from the death sentence, but he refused. Martha Place was buried in the family cemetery plot in East Millstone, New Jersey without religious observances.
Today's Birthday Boys and Girls
Today is the birthday of Ovid (43 BC), Napoleon FKJ Bonaparte II (1811), Charles Albert White (1829), B.F. Skinner (1904), Ozzie Nelson (1906), Marian McPartland (1918), Carl Reiner (1922), Fred "Mr." Rogers (1928), Hal Linden (1931), Lois Lowry (1937), Pat Riley (1945), William Hurt (1950), Spike Lee (1957), Holly Hunter (1958), Kathy Ireland (1963), David Thewlis (1963), Chester Bennington (1976), Christy Carlson Romano (1984), Justine Ezarik (1984), and Barron Trump (2006).
On Wall Street
About the stock numbers: There's no current stock market reporting at the moment because of a snag in the link that retrieves the data and gets it to the screen. The stock market stuff is on the work bench until it's working again.
The New York Stock Exchange is currently closed. At closing today, the NASDAQ was up by to . The S&P500 index closed at , up by .
Note: During trading hours all data is in real time. The data is preserved at the end of the trading day. It remains until the next opening bell. The process of retrieving stock info involves many links between the sources and what you're reading on the screen. At the moment, there's a technical issue up the line with the DJ average. Occasionally, the data appears as random characters. If there's numerical data on the screen, it's accurate. The other indicies are working and accurate.
Earth and All Spheres
The current weather conditions and forecast usually appear in this section. However, there have been technical issues the last few days with the NOAA system, so the data is not always available. Reloading the page will sometimes bring up the info.
We are under a full moon. At the time you accessed this page, its exact age was 14 days, 14 hours, and 41 minutes. We will be under a new moon again on Thursday, April 4th at 2:23 PM CDT. The moon will reach full luminescence on Wednesday, March 20th at 8:01 PM. For now, Mars, Saturn and Jupiter are visible in the night sky. Mars, seen in the southern sky, is clearly visible and its red glow clearly identifies it. It can be seen beginning at nightfall; it moves slowly in a westerly fashion before disappearing. Mercury can be seen in the eastern sky just before dawn.
We are under the sign of Pisces in the 88th day of winter, which arrived in the Northern Hemisphere on December 21st at 5:45 PM CDT with the occurrence of the Winter Solstice, marked by the shortest day of the year. Winter will end on March 21st at 6:45 AM CDT with the occurrence of the Spring Equinox. For today, our sunrise and sunset times (at -96.852/32.847) are 7:21 AM and 7:30 PM, giving us 12 hours and 9 minutes of daylight. For now, we're on Standard Time. We will switch to Daylight Saving Time on Sunday, March 10th at 1:00 AM when Santa Claus will magically roll our clocks forward to 2:00 AM, following the NIST standard.
This site is a working demonstration of on-demand PHP scripting. The code tightly integrates computed and imported data with text, spewing forth natural-sounding narrative output with flawless grammar and syntax. The birthdays, history section and the text below--which all change daily--are from an in-house database. Raw data used in the financial and weather sections is imported at page generation time. All the other data, particularly the celestial stuff, is derived and rendered by several hundred lines of code at the time the page request reaches the server. THIS SITE IS SELF-MAINTAINING. The daily content updates at midnight CDT. The weather target is -96.852/32.847.
About political correctness...
It's hard to imagine living in a society in which there are not those who bear the standards. And then, there are the sometimes dreaded and oft unappreciated enforcers of the standards. Without both forces, there is no civility. What we don't need are those who find it their charge to re-define the standards and set the course for the rest of us. May God either repair or silence the damn fools.
VOX HUMANA DIALOGUS