Tony Sartain, MBA, NE

remote process synchronization

Good afternoon. Today is Monday, the 19th day of April. It's the 109th day of the year. This is not a leap year, so there are 256 days remaining in 2021. On the Jewish calendar, today is the 7th day of Iyyar in the year 5781. On this day in 2017, Fox News confirmed they would be letting go of Bill O'Reilly after allegations of sexual harassment.

This website is a demonstration of smart content rendering. The content updates continuously without the help of Internet monkeys. All the information was current at the time you arrived here. If you're looking for information on the technology, it's at the bottom of this page.

Today in History

What do Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Mae West have in common? Probably lots, except for the fact that Mae West had a brain. On this day in 1927, Ms. West was jailed for her performance in Sex, the Broadway play she wrote, directed, and starred in. She served ten days in prison, and jail time seemed to have done her good. It didn't make her change her act, but it did bring her national notoriety, and it helped make her one of Hollywood's most memorable and quotable stars. She said, "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful."

Today's Birthday Boys and Girls

Today is the birthday of Adrian H. Haworth (1768), José Echegaray y Eizaguirre (1832), Lucretia Rudolph Garfield (1832), Françoise Rosay (1891), Eliot Ness (1903), Hugh O'Brian (1925), Dick Sargent (1930), Jayne Mansfield (1933), Dudley Moore (1935), Elinor Donahue (1937), Tim Curry (1946), Paloma Picasso (1949), Al Unser, Jr. (1962), Suge Knight (1966), Ashley Judd (1968), Luis Miguel Basteri (1970), Kate Hudson (1979), Hayden Christensen (1981), and Maria Sharapova (1987).

On Wall Street

About the stock numbers: There's no current stock market reporting at the moment because of a snag in the link that retrieves the data and gets it to the screen. The stock market stuff is on the work bench until it's working again.

The New York Stock Exchange is open and trading. Currently, The S&P500 index is at , up by . The NASDAQ is up by to . The link to the Dow Jones Industrial Average is not working.

Note: During trading hours all data is in real time. The data is preserved at the end of the trading day. It remains until the next opening bell. The process of retrieving stock info involves many links between the sources and what you're reading on the screen. At the moment, there's a technical issue up the line with the DJ average. Occasionally, the data appears as random characters. If there's numerical data on the screen, it's accurate. The other indicies are working and accurate.

Earth and All Spheres

The current weather conditions and forecast usually appear in this section. However, there have been technical issues the last few days with the NOAA system, so the data is not always available. Reloading the page will sometimes bring up the info. We are under a first quarter moon. At the time you accessed this page, its exact age was 7 days, 16 hours, and 26 minutes. We will be under a new moon again on Tuesday, May 11th at 9:28 AM CDT. The moon will reach full luminescence on Monday, April 26th at 3:06 PM. For now, Mars, Saturn and Jupiter are visible in the night sky. Mars, seen in the southern sky, is clearly visible and its red glow clearly identifies it. It can be seen beginning at nightfall; it moves slowly in a westerly fashion before disappearing. Mercury can be seen in the eastern sky just before dawn.

in the 118th day of winter, which arrived in the Northern Hemisphere on December 21st at 4:02 AM CST with the occurrence of the Winter Equinox. On the date of the Equinox, the sunrise and sunset times were 5:12 AM CDT and 7:23 PM CDT. For today, our sunrise and sunset times (at -96.852/32.847) are 6:44 AM and 7:50 PM, giving us 13 hours and 6 minutes of daylight. For now, we're on Standard Time. We will switch to Daylight Saving Time on Sunday, March 14th at 2:00 AM, following the NIST standard.

The Technology

This site is a working demonstration of on-demand PHP scripting. The code tightly integrates computed and imported data with text, spewing forth natural-sounding narrative output with flawless syntax. The birthdays, history section and the text below--which all change daily--are from an in-house database. Raw data used in the financial and weather sections is imported at page generation time. All the other data, particularly the celestial stuff, is derived and rendered by several hundred lines of code at the time the page request reaches the server. THIS SITE IS SELF-MAINTAINING. The daily content updates at midnight CDT. The weather target is -96.852/32.847.

Television is the first truly democratic culture--the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.
Groucho Marx


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